Felicity Lenehan from A Way With Words has a specific mission with her life story work. She believes everyone’s story matters and that it should be recorded — and that includes those people living with dementia. Felicity has done many stories for people living with this upsetting illness. Their stories are not just important — they’re essential. They hold the golden threads of identity, joy, connection, and meaning. And when those threads begin to fray through memory loss, revisiting and recording life stories can be a beautiful way to gently weave them together again.
For carers, storytelling is not only a meaningful activity but also honours the person, giving them agency and helping them reconnect with their past. It allows them to enjoy their memories in the present moment and reminds both them and you of their true identity beyond the challenges they face. That’s why assisting Dementia Patients in Sharing Their Life Story is so important.
Storytelling for People Living with Dementia is powerful. Life stories act as anchors in the sea of confusion that dementia can bring. They bring comfort, spark recognition, and offer a sense of dignity. Seeing their story in print — even if it’s just a few pages — is powerful. It says: I am still here. I still matter. My life is worth remembering.
For carers, families, and friends, these stories become cherished keepsakes. A laugh, a memory, a phrase — they bring your loved one back into focus, even long after the words may stop flowing.
So how do we help our loved ones share their story?
You don’t necessarily need to be a writer or historian to help someone tell their life story. You just need time, patience, and a little guidance.
Felicity has recommended how to get started:
1. Start with a photo
Pull out a favourite old photo — maybe a wedding, a holiday, or an everyday life moment. Ask open-ended questions like:
- What was happening here?
- How did that day feel for you?
- What do you remember about this place?
Even if the exact details are not remembered, the image may evoke a sensation, a partial memory, or a previously forgotten story.
2. Use music as a memory bridge
Music has a remarkable way of bypassing damaged parts of the brain and lighting up memories from long ago. Play songs from their youth or early adulthood. You might be surprised at what comes up — a dance hall romance, the smell of Mum’s cooking, or the thrill of a first car ride.
3. Keep it short and sweet
People with dementia can tire easily, so storytelling in short bursts is best. Let the stories unfold naturally — no need to push or rush.
4. Leave room for the pause
Memories often need time to rise to the surface. Don’t be afraid of silence. A long pause isn’t a sign they’ve forgotten — it might be the moment a story is forming, bubbling to the surface – give them time to grasp it. Give them that space, and when it comes, it’s most likely worth the wait.
5. Respect their truth
It is well known and documented that memory is a fallible thing – mine, yours, everyone’s. The way we experienced an event is different to other people – and is therefore recalled in a different way. But it is no less true or otherwise – it is simply our experience. Dementia can alter the way a person recalls events. You might find their version of the story is perhaps factually incorrect. That’s okay. In that moment, it’s their truth. Correcting them can feel confusing or even distressing to the storyteller. Instead, take their story as it comes, as a version of their experience — whether it’s real, remembered, or imagined. It still has meaning.
6. Let them lead
This is their story — not yours, not history’s. Some people love to talk about their childhood, while others might fixate on work, hobbies, or a special relationship. Let the topics be guided by their own memories and interests.
Helping someone with dementia tell their life story is not just a lovely project — it’s a gift.
A gift of presence. A gift of identity. A gift of legacy.
It doesn’t need to be perfect. It doesn’t need to be long. It just needs to be theirs.
So, whether you write it down yourself, record it, or use one of the services Felicity has at A Way With Words, we urge you to take the time to capture those stories important to you and your loved one.
Because memories may fade — but stories, once told, can last forever.
Felicity Lenehan from A Way With Words has developed many aids to assist people to capture their Life Story. The most recent development is her My Story App life story software. Go to A Way With Words for more information on the services Felicity provides or visit our Members page to read Felicity’s bio.
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